When Liberty turned one, all I (and sometimes Jake, ha!) wanted, was a sibling for her. She was such a pure joy to our life, the center of attention, and made our faces radiate happiness. We knew what true love was with each other, now we knew what it was with our daughter. My mom always told me that the best gift you can ever give a child is a sibling. We took this to heart, and before Liberty had even turned one I was working on updating our home study. Those of you that know me well, know that if I want something done, I will do it fast, and I will research every angle of it at the same time. We had a hard time knowing which route to take. Every route can be financially scary--but we pushed those worries aside, knowing that our growing family would be worth every penny. After the first of the year, we decided that we were ready. By mid-late January our profile was live.
As I have written before, we were matched with Bella's birth mom just days before she was born. We were able to spend the evening before Bella's c-section visiting with her birth mom, learning more about her, her background, her hobbies, and just visiting about whatever came to mind. I can't explain to you that sense of "connection" we felt with her. This beautiful woman was strong enough to choose adoption, selfless enough to do what was best for our precious girl. We cried with her, knowing that this decision was the happiest moment of our lives, yet knowing it was breaking her heart. The moment came when I asked her if she had any names that she loved and that we'd love for her to be part of naming our little girl. My heart (and I think Jake's too) began to race when she said that she'd always loved the name Bella. How could she have known, that Isabella was at the top of our list for naming her? I teared up, telling her how much we'd love for her to be named Isabella, and Bella for short. I could go on and on, but the next day we were there for her c-section. I was able to be in the operating room and held her hand and cried with her as our baby girl was born. We heard her first cries together, and the 3 of us were linked together for life. These moments are truly surreal. Bella was beautiful, an absolute miracle. When I was able to go back and talk to Jake just minutes later I was shaking as I told him how much she weighed, what she looked like, and how beautiful she was. These moments are ones that we will never forget.
The connection between mothers in this moment was profound. I cried as we spent those days in the hospital. I cried because I was so happy that God had picked up to parent another beautiful little girl. I also cried because I knew our happiness, was also one of the saddest days in our birth mother's life. The magnitude of her tragedy would never be lost in our thoughts. To this day, not a day goes by that I don't think of her. I love her as the "other" mother of my little girl. As Jody Landers said, "A child born to another woman calls me Mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege is not lost on me".
It is so hard for me to put in to words what I am trying to say. As I have told God in those quiet moments when most of the world is sleeping..."Thank you. Thank you for believing in us, thank you for knowing that we could do this. Thank you for choosing us in this incredible journey, and please know that we do not take this journey lightly. Every decision is made with utmost care, and our hearts have been filled to the brim because of your goodness!"
I know that not everyone can understand the connection between birth and adoptive parents. I also know that not every situation is easy and not ONE is alike. But what I will say is that Jake and I pray for our girls' birth parents every day. There have been moments of terror, moments of sadness, and so many moments of gratitude. We truly feel that being a family means that you are a part of something very wonderful, it means that you are loved, and will be love and be loved for the rest of your life, no matter what.
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