A letter for Bella on her 2nd birthday...

Dear Bella,

Today you are two years old. Two!  Your dad and I can remember the day you were born so vividly. We got up before the crack of dawn to rush to the hospital to be there with your birth mom during her c-section.  We shared laughs and conversation with your birth mom as they prepped her for surgery.  She knew, without a doubt, that she was making the absolute best choice by making us your parents.  Only one of us was allowed in the operating room, so I had to deck out in all the gear.  I held your birthmom’s hand through the entire surgery, consoling her when she got scared, squeezing her hand back when she squeezed mine.  We both cried as we watched the doctors lift you up, claiming you a healthy baby girl.  In all honesty, I was so nervous. I wanted to be there and hold your birthmom’s hand and console her; but I wanted to hold you and watch you be weighed, measured, cleaned, and swaddled.  My heart was torn in that moment.  I was feeling the intense love for my daughter, and the heartbroken love and empathy for this mother that I would always share a lifelong connection with. 

Fast forward a few minutes later, and there we were in the room with your Dad and our social worker, Teresa.  I handed you to your dad and saw him wiping tears from his eyes.  He loved your wild hair.  Nothing else mattered in that moment but you, our sweet Bella.  We couldn’t wait for you to meet your big sister Liberty, who was still a baby herself at 17 months old.

Bella, never once doubt how much you were wished for, prayed for, and most of all, wanted.  We never doubted our decision to have our two girls so close in age, because what better gift can you give your children but siblings?  Many thought we were crazy to adopt again so soon.  I have to tell you, Bella, your Grandma Jane pushed and encouraged me to no end to pursue you.  She listened to me, hoping and praying, daily that Liberty would soon have a baby sister.  She consoled me when I worried that you two would be too close in age before you were born.  She told me time and time again, how happy were you with your own sister, Alyssa? You were only 18 months apart…and look at the relationship you have.  Best friends, for life.  I see you and Liberty today, Bella, and my heart swells with joy and love.  The two of you are mine and your dad’s entire life, and you fill our entire hearts.

Bella, your headstrong spirit scares me sometimes.  Your dad always says that it will get you SO far in life.  I am quite sure you get this from both your Dad and your Papa John.  You will find true success in life because of that spirit.  Your love for babies and your sweet heart are most definitely from your Grandma Jane.  It breaks my heart that you will not grow up knowing the mother that I was so blessed to have in my life for 28 years.  Your love for dancing and music must come from Grandma Alfreda…and since Sue was among many of your favorite first words, I think we know the joy your Grandma Sue brings you.  That curly hair of yours, Bella, didn’t you know it matches your Papa Melvin? His used to be just like yours. J Your blood may not match our blood, Bella, but your spirit, your personality, your heart, it most definitely matches and is a part of ours.

Bella, when you turn your nose up in the air and do exactly what I told you not to…oh how that irritates me…but more than that it makes me laugh.  The way you yell “Mo—mmy!” as loud as you can in the mornings when you wake up…I never want to forget it.  As annoying as it can be some early mornings, I know the day will come when you no longer want me to come get you and rock you when you wake up from a good night’s sleep. The way you care for your baby dolls by feeding, burping, changing diapers, and wrapping them in blankies…makes me know without a doubt that you will be an amazing mother someday.

Watching you and Liberty wrestle on the floor, kiss each other good night each night before bed, and insist on wearing matching clothes…that is what makes me happy. Arguing with you two about why you can’t share a bed at night time yet, that is what brings me joy on days that my heart is full of sorrow missing your Grandma Jane.  Laughing when you tell us to “shh! Baby is sleeping” (your doll)… that is what makes your dad and I know that we have done something right. We are your and Liberty’s mom and dad…and that is by far our favorite job.

Thank you, Bella, for bringing even more spirit, joy, love, and life into our family. You are you, and we love you so very much. Your zeal for life will take you up and across many mountains, and the stars will be your limits as you dream of your future.  Never forget how much you are loved, by so many.  Never forget that you have a sky full of guardian angels watching out for you and your sister, Liberty.  Make them proud.

We love you with all of our hearts,

Mom and Dad