Sisters

“A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost.” –Marion Garretty

‘Lyssa and Em, Em and Lyssa…that’s the way it’s always been…you never heard one of our names without the other as we grew up.  We are 18 short months apart, and shared everything.  (even boyfriends as we got older!  Just kidding…I was only allowed to step in after the break ups were clean and done. J ) I do not have a childhood memory that isn’t shared with Alyssa.  Our days were spent together, summers filled with our job of babysitting our ten kittens, winter evenings spent painting toenails, reading books, and writing in our furry diaries.  Although I always had to read the books first; Alyssa didn’t want to waste time on one if it wasn’t going to be a delightful read.  Oh, the memories!  Alyssa and I laughed the other day remembering how baking hot our house to used to be in the summers without central air.  Luckily, the only window unit in the house was in our room.  Let’s just say our room was still hotter than sin, and we never wore anything but our underwear to bed.  How embarrassing is that?  The only person you could share such a memory with would have to be your sister.

Alyssa was such a ‘fraidy cat growing up.  There would barely be a rumble of thunder and she’d be begging me to come inside…terrified that she or I would be hit by lightning or God knows what else.  She worried about every little thing.  I had a small heat stroke one summer and she had to lead me to the house because I lost my vision.  All I remember is Alyssa bawling to my mom, “What if she never sees again?”  There may not have been any one who cared about me more as a child than Alyssa. 

We shared friends, we shared enemies, and as we got older, we shared the volleyball court.  One of the toughest things we ever shared had to be sports.  Our coach constantly was on us to “LISTEN TO EACH OTHER”.  We grew apart, sadly enough.  No longer did we share our worries, triumphs, and dreams.  The only thing Alyssa shared about me was to tattle tale to my parents about my sneaking out to the prom party when I was 15.  (And I was grounded for a very long time…not sure I have forgiven her yet.)

College came for Alyssa and I missed her more than I dreamed possible!  I waited for her phone calls in the evenings and loved going to visit her and share in her freshman memories at FHSU.  The void between us slowly melted away for the time being.  I joined her at FHSU two years later and we both found the loves of our life. 

Alyssa was the one who told Jake to stick by me when I couldn’t seem to settle down and quit the partying.  She was the one who told him I was worth waiting for.  I’m not sure I’ve ever thanked her…but I will never be more grateful to her than I am now.

Our weddings were two and a half short months apart and we were each other’s maid of honor.  We both shared tears during our speeches and laughed through all the awkward moments of a wedding.   

A couple years later, Alyssa and Ken had their little boy Hayden, the absolute light to all of our lives.  As much as Jake and I swallowed our tears, we still hurt.  We wanted what they had.  Alyssa could not understand our yearning.  All she would say was, “Why can’t you just be happy?  Why can’t you be happy with what you have?”  I truly was…but we just wanted more.  We wanted our family to grow and our hearts to spill over with a child of our own.  Here’s where God walked in to our lives with our very own miracle…almost exactly two months after Hayden was born, God gave us our Liberty. 

We talked numerous times a day sharing our baby’s milestones, asking whether this was normal, sleep training, solid foods, motor skills, all of it!  Who ever dreamed that we would have our babies so close together, born in entirely different circumstances and states.  Life with our kids was better than we imagined.  We laughed, we smiled, we thrived in getting to take our babies in public and show them off. 

Time passed, and we found out Alyssa would be having a girl this time! I was over the moon excited for her.  I had every piece of clothing possible to share with her.  Again, as excited as we were for them, there still was a little bit of yearning in our hearts.  Once again Alyssa could not understand why we needed even MORE! God had blessed us with Liberty…why did we need more?  (Easy said when babies happened quite quickly for her.)  She was quick to tell me that we would not be so lucky twice…and not to get my hopes up. 

Alyssa can have a hardened heart, but I think underneath it all she was just trying to prepare me.  She didn’t want me to suffer and have my hopes dashed.  Alyssa was due in June.  From January on, we were patiently waiting for our birth mother to find us.  I knew about Bella’s birth mother by this point, but I never guessed that she would choose us to raise her baby girl.   She did.  Praise the Lord, she did! 

Bella was born two and a half months before Harper.  How lucky are we to have both of our children so close in age?  I truly believe that the best gift you can give your children is a sibling. 

Alyssa and I have spent 27.5 years together.  She’s my best friend.  She also can break my heart like no one else can.  We know it is true in the fact that we treat those we love the harshest.  Thank God our family will never leave us. 

When I see Liberty and Bella playing together, wrestling, dancing, tickling and laughing…it takes my heart back to the days of Alyssa and I.  I wish my daughters nothing short of what we had.  It was true bliss in our childhood to have each other, and it is a true consolation to know that she is always there for me now.  (opinions and all!)

It breaks my heart to see Liberty cry when she has to leave Bella for only an hour and a half for dance class.  How strong must their bond be if it tears at her heart to leave for such a short amount of time.  I know that there are many things that I have not done right in my lifetime…but there is one thing I know, without a doubt, that I nailed.  All those emails, paperwork, phone calls, sleepless nights, and tear stained pillowcases…brought our girls home.   Thank God Jake didn’t leave me during those crazed months. J

“Give me the wisdom to know what must be done, and the courage to do it”.